Grandma's house

Yesterday I was able to go inside my Grandparent's house. They had live in a small home next to my parents out on the farm. I have not been in the house for probably 25 years or more. I have many good memories of Grandma and Grandpa associated with that home. I loved that they lived close and I was able to visit a lot. The house looks wonderful. It made me so happy and made me miss both my Grandparents as I walked into the bedrooms they had occupied. To tell the truth I wanted to cry. I will always think of it as their Home. I loved sitting in front of the fireplace and just listening to everyone. Friends and relatives would come visit them. It was in that kitchen that Grandma taught me how to can tomatoes. I even wrote it down. It made my heart feel good to see the little house cleaned up and taken care of. My Grandparents were great examples to me and I hope and try to live up to their legacy. Love you and miss you both...................

Return........................

Got back today from spending five days at my cousin Cami's place. She always checks on my blog, I told her I would start posting in it again. Wow! So much has happen since lat post. I'll catch up as I keep posting. Driving home today, with my dog Max I got thinking. I do my best thinking when I'm alone driving or doing something that doesn't require much thought. I was wishing I could take away all the sadness and loneliness in the world. My heart aches when I hear or know of people going thru a sadness. I want to just hold them and soothe away their tears and fears. Let them know that they are loved and not alone. At times when I have felt down I always know that my Heavenly Father and Jesus love me personally. They have provided ways for me to feel comfort and be watched over. I also know that what ever happens to me that Jesus knows EXACTLY what I am experiencing. This is one of the things that he suffered in the garden. Such Love he has for me and everyone to have done this. So,I know I can't take away all the sadness in the world. Like the story of the man and the starfish. I do what I can. {Starfish Story. There was a man walking along the beach. Lots of starfish had washed up on shore and been stranded. As he walked along he would pick them up and toss them back into the ocean. Another man saw him doing this and commetted, "You can't hope to make a difference by saving a few of the thousands of starfish." The man answered as he picked up another one and returned it to the ocean. "Made a difference for that one." So, each day I hope I can make a difference in someone's life. Even if it is a small difference.

I find I am lonely a lot. Polly's estate is all done. Her house is mine now. The boys and Keith were very generous {I think} and deeded the house to me. First thing I did was put in a new range. It was installed Thursday and looks really nice. I also had the HUGE pine tree taken down. There is a lot of wood from it. Next fall I will sell it for firewood. The big pieces of log I'm hopefully going to have made into benchs. I am slowing making progress on things that need done. Feels good. I have started running again. Last year I hurt my knee somehow and could hardly walk. Finally went to the doctor. Got a cortizone shot and ta-da! I was better. Then I was real leary about running. A month ago I decided to give it a try. So far, so good. I am actually enjoying it. Had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My cousin and her family came and we had a fantastic time. We made apple turkeys. See pic. I have been reading the Book of Mormon. This time it is finally sinking in. Like I get it. I understand what is meant when it is said "Feast" on the words of the scriptures. It has made me more content and I feel a peace in my heart.

Sadness and Rejoicing

The young girl that Max and I visited 3 weeks ago passed away this morning. Maybe my soul knew it and that is why today has been a bit harder for me. Much sadness will be felt her on this earth from the mortals. But, I know there is much rejoicing in heaven as a much loved one returns.

Lonely

Most of the time I am lonely. Most times I am able to push it aside and get on with things. Today for some reason it is hard to do that. I will keep trying. I have found if I keep myself busy, I'm unable to dwell on it. That is probably why I get the things done that I do. It's not because I'm ambitious. I don't like to feel self pity. There are a lot of people who have things a lot worse than me. In fact, things really aren't that bad. I am able to take care of myself. Maintain both places, do thing I enjoy, do a bit of traveling. I really am very blessed. I just get lonely. Max is my best buddy. He is 5 years old now and I couldn't ask for a better companion. Well maybe. He could help out with the chores. I've tried to teach him how to pick up sticks and pile them. He just kinda looks at me like, "I don't think so". So, I will get on with my day. I do feel a bit better having shared this on my blog.

typo

I noticed a typo in my last posting. I meant to write "I use to BE like them." Left out the BE. Hope I didn't offend anyone. When I reread it, it sounded pretty bad. Sorry.....................

The Edge

There are times that a memory of something in the past two years will come to me. Then I can feel myself start thinking of all that has gone on. I can feel myself start drawing toward the dark shadow that is always there lingering on the edge. It would be so easy to let it in and feel sad, depressed, sorry for myself, poor poor pitiful me. But, I have been there. Did not like it at all. Don't want to go there again. Will do almost anything to avoid it. So, I push away that dark shadow and get on with my life. There are so many things I have and am able to do. I need to concentrate on the good things. There are so many things I want to do and experience in my life. I am lucky. I have my dog. I take care of him and he takes care of me. I have a few friends and family who are always there for me. They have true compassion and won't let me wallow in self-pity. The rest of the people just don't get it. That's O.K., I think I use to like them. So, I pull myself up by my boot straps and say "Cowboy Up" and get on with enjoying life and trying to be happy. Hey, things could be a whole lot worse.

This pic is up Logan canyon. It is where my Grandpa Meldrum use to go fishing. Made me happy to stop and see this pretty little place.